Offering gratuity, although it has become an expectation in many cases, is still a response to good service or attitude. Tipping in a grand hotel will be very different than in a motel, even at a good motel.

In a motel where you drive up to the door and unload your own entire luggage and get settled is not an issue, because you don’t generally tip the desk clerk. Remembering, however, the reason for a tip, if the clerk goes out of his or her way to get you settled or find a better room, he or she deserves some consideration. Clerks do not make a great deal of money. In a full service hotel, you will usually face a doorman, bellman, concierge or bell captain, waiter or waitress, cocktail waitress, and maids.

The concierge, hall porter, or bell captain can be valuable to you. If you are staying for an extended period, he or she will take messages, bring you mail, get a taxi, suggest a place outside the hotel to eat, and hear your complaints. They are professional, usually very capable, and should be rewarded at the end of your stay.

The bellman, who carries your luggage in and out, should be tipped at least a dollar per bag, and the doorman should be tipped for coming to open the taxi door and seeing you safely in to the building (you will love him in a rain storm). The maid or chamber person should also find something left in the room upon your departure, especially if he or she has left extra towels and discreetly straightened the mess of clothes you left lying around the room.

Depending upon the location and what you enjoy, keep in mind a waiter at poolside who keeps bringing you refreshment on a telephone. There may also be washroom attendants, someone who will shine your shoes or press your clothes, etc. just remember who is serving you and reward them accordingly.

Generosity is not the same as indulgence or showing off, so use common sense. This raises the issue of tipping in a private home where you are a guest. When going to a dinner party, never tip the help. When staying overnight and extra work is done in your behalf, it is permissible to tip. In a home, this becomes more of a personal gratuity and should be given directly to the person who has served you.

Often in the case of cooks and waiters, they may have left, and then you may ask someone on staff to give them your thanks and your gratuity. In some homes, rest houses, personal inns, you may find a notice that you are not to tip the people hired to serve you.

An explanation may be given that they are on contract and for you to offer extra would go against that agreement. If such a statement is not present and you are uncertain, ask the host and then tip them if you are willing.